Talofa lava, beautiful peeps! Thank you for being here.
I’m feeling deeply ready and excited to share my free birth story in this space.
I see so many women rising up in empowerment and collective awakening. A significant part of regaining our sovereignty as women starts with birth and how we bring our children into this world.
I hope that by sharing this story, I can offer a sense of empowerment, faith, and inspiration for women transitioning into this beautiful rite of passage: motherhood.
I gave birth to my daughter when I was 21, almost two years before my free birth with my son. I had a beautiful natural water birth with her at the public hospital in Christchurch, NZ. Although I was happy with my first birth, there were still elements of control that I didn’t fully align with.
When my daughter was about 10 months old, we moved to Australia from New Zealand. This was an expansive experience for me, a spiritual awakening that allowed me to dive deep and connect with my own innate wisdom.
About four months into our journey in Australia, I found out I was pregnant with our second child. I had so many mixed feelings and emotions because it wasn’t planned.
Naturally, I started looking for midwives and birth support. I made a few phone calls and did some research, only to be shocked at how different the birth and healthcare systems were in Australia compared to New Zealand.
Let’s just say we are VERY lucky in New Zealand to have consistent care from one midwife, fully funded.
In Australia, hiring a midwife would have cost me around $5,000, which was not a financial option for me at the time. The other option was to go through the public healthcare system, which didn’t align with many of my beliefs.
Although I had a moment of panic about what I would do, I was also excited about the expansive possibilities that were opening up.
I started researching home birth and free birth. That’s when I discovered doula services. A doula is a woman who supports you emotionally, mentally, and physically throughout pregnancy and postpartum, typically without medical training.
This felt deeply aligned with my heart. I was empowered and passionate about birthing my baby naturally and freely on my own terms, and I was grateful for the support of a doula.
I knew deep down that I was being guided on this path, and I surrendered in complete trust.
After reaching out to a couple of people, I connected with a doula who lived nearby. She was amazing! We had a beautiful connection and shared many beliefs about birth and pregnancy support.
It was magical to have that support during my pregnancy. She made me food, gave me massages, guided me through meditations and healings, and took me on nature hikes. She even took me to sacred birthing sites in our area of Australia. She taught me about natural herbs, how to nourish myself, and important things I should know about my baby and natural birthing.
Having just moved to Australia, I didn’t have family or close friends around, so it was really special to have maternal support from my doula.
I believe women should be supported and surrounded by other women during birth and postpartum. The nurture and care we offer each other is vital for a woman transitioning into motherhood. Just look at our ancestors; birth has always been sacred women’s work (and I also acknowledge the important role of fathers or partners in holding divine masculine space!).
Throughout my pregnancy, I never visited a doctor or had any scans, so I didn’t know the sex of my baby. This was a conscious decision, as I had done a lot of research on ultrasounds and the potential harm from radiation. I didn’t feel the need to see a doctor; I felt healthy and trusted my baby and my body.
I believe that in this patriarchal Western system, birth has become a medical emergency. Power is often taken away from mothers, and fear is induced into their minds and spirits (not all the time, but it’s a foundational aspect of the system). I wanted no part of it!
I would see my doula once a month, and more often as I got further along in my pregnancy. I spent most of my pregnancy at the beach, rivers, and in nature during the peak of the Australian summer. I attended women’s circles and gatherings, tapping into a deep spiritual connection with myself.
I remember feeling like a golden radiant goddess, wearing a bikini top and sarong all day long. It was truly a magical pregnancy; I felt healthy, strong, and connected to my baby.
I filled my mind with positive birth affirmations, sticking them all over my bedroom wall. I listened to positive home birth stories, and my doula recommended an amazing documentary called “Birth into Being” by Nicole Moore. This absolutely shifted my whole perspective on being a woman! I highly suggest watching it!
About 4-5 days before my due date, I was already 3-4 cm dilated. I had been experiencing cramps and lower back pain, and a couple of times I thought I was going into labor.
It all seemed to happen slowly—until the moment came when I knew I was definitely in labor, and then everything happened so fast!
I woke up around 2 AM on January 12, 2018. I knew it was time. Strong contractions came on fast and hard!
I went to the bathroom and called my doula to come over.
My partner woke up, and I told him to start running the bath. It was a big spa bath, so I knew it would take some time to fill. There was such exciting energy between us, knowing our baby was about to be born!
He was amazing throughout my pregnancy and birth; he trusted my intuition and was fully ready to hold space for me to bring our baby into the world together with complete trust.
My daughter woke up from my groans and moans as I experienced the depths of my contractions. The pain and opening of the cervix during this stage of labor brought on a deep, primal voice activation.
I was still breastfeeding my daughter at this point. She felt frightened and wanted to nurse.
You should have seen the sight! I swear, there I was on all fours howling at the moon in deep labor, while my almost 2-year-old lay underneath me breastfeeding!
Wild women, mama bear!
My partner took our daughter to the other room where his family was.
I managed to crawl out through the ranch slider door that led onto the deck outside. It was such a beautiful warm evening, and I remember the stars shining brightly.
We lived at the top of a hill surrounded by nature, and the deck overlooked the whole town while we nestled in the hillside. Rainbow parrots flew through the trees every day, and the choir of kookaburras woke us most mornings.
At this point, I was deep in labor, feeling powerful energy surging through my whole body. I had to surrender to it and let it guide me, completely trusting my body and what it wanted to do.
I was on all fours, with my hips and knees spread wide. This seemed to be the natural position my body wanted to be in; it makes sense to use gravity to help birth your baby.
My nana once told me that when she gave birth to my mom, she was forced to lie on her back with her feet in stirrups. The nurse even smacked her when she tried to get up! Crazy, right?
Anyway, here I was outside on the deck under the stars, in labor, feeling the massive surge of energy coming through me. My doula finally arrived, making a calm entrance and gently letting me know she was there. She sat beside me quietly, holding space.
I latched onto her body, squeezing her tightly. The poor thing, she was so tiny!
I just needed someone to physically hold me and be with me during the waves of contractions.
I felt a heaviness and tightness in my lower back and told her I felt like I needed to poo. She assured me this was a good sign and that the baby must be really close.
We both knew that the baby was coming any minute. We started calling for my partner to come outside so he could deliver the baby.
He was still inside filling up the bath and getting things organized, and he couldn’t hear us calling. It felt like forever, and I thought he was going to miss it!
I had a deep urge to push, still on my hands and knees with my doula beside me. Finally, my partner and daughter made it outside just in time as I prepared to push—and at that moment, I felt my waters break.
At this stage, I was right in the thick of birth. The only way I can describe it is like a massive wave of energy coming through; it’s the hardest your body has ever worked, using every ounce of energy and mana you have.
They were all encouraging me lovingly, telling me they could see his head. Argh, talk about the ring of fire!
At this point, no one knew if it was a boy or a girl since I hadn’t had any scans. I distinctly remember saying, “He’s coming, he’s coming!” Intuitively, I just knew he was a boy—I had sensed it throughout my pregnancy, but at this moment, it was pure knowing.
With one big contraction, he was halfway out, up to his belly button. I looked down through my legs and saw him. I grabbed his hand and waited for the next contraction. Here I was, with my new baby halfway out, talking to him and welcoming him while holding his hand. The feeling was surreal.
The next contraction came, and in one final push, he was out—his dad catching him with our daughter right there watching.
I flipped over, and my partner handed me our baby. He came and sat behind me so I could lean back against him while holding our son.
I remember his eyes were closed, and he wasn’t crying—he was so peaceful. It was as if he slept through the whole thing! He was born at 3:09 AM, only an hour after I first woke up that morning.
All the waiting and wondering for 9 months, all the telepathic communication and feeling him moving inside me—in that moment, I could finally see him and hold him in my arms. The unconditional love that rips your heart out is indescribable!
We all sat out on the deck under the stars, in awe of our new baby! I remember feeling hyper-aware of my daughter and how she was feeling. I had some anxiety leading up to his birth, worrying about her feeling pushed out. That was definitely an emotional roller coaster for me as I transitioned to motherhood of two children. My daughter was still my baby girl, and we had such a close relationship, just the two of us. She adjusted really well, and my partner stepped up a lot, which helped immensely.
My doula encouraged me to birth my placenta, which I had totally forgotten about while blissed out in my new baby bubble.
About 20 minutes later, I birthed the placenta while my partner supported me from behind. He encouraged me to swirl and spiral my hips. I remember birthing the placenta being quite painful; everything was so tender.
I was in total awe of the placenta, honoring and acknowledging its beauty and role.
We wrapped the placenta in a cloth bag since I had chosen to have a lotus birth. This means keeping the placenta attached to the baby without cutting the cord. I had done so much research on this topic during my pregnancy, and the benefits for the baby were undeniable. The placenta grows with your baby in the womb; it is their life force. It was important for me to have a gentle, slow transition of detachment from this magical organ, allowing for maximum nutrient absorption, which lasts for days after the baby is born.
I carried my new baby, Zion Kahu, into the bath that my partner had run earlier (picture at the top). We had planned for a water birth but didn’t quite make it to the bath in time. It felt soothing to sit in the hot water and let everything relax.
My doula made me a smoothie with a few bits of my placenta in it (the benefits of ingesting the placenta after birth for mothers are significant). She also made me a tincture from the placenta, ready for me to use around four weeks later.
We covered the placenta in fragrant dried herbs like lavender and rose before wrapping it up in a beautiful red silk bag that my doula gifted me.
I remember that the rest of that morning and day was spent in bed with my new baby, indulging in the sweet, familiar taste of motherhood. He latched onto the breast beautifully and with such ease, which was such a relief, especially after the challenges I faced breastfeeding my daughter. I had cracked, bleeding nipples and lots of tears, and it took me six weeks to finally get her latched correctly. It was not an easy journey, but with persistence and support, we made it.
As the days went on, it felt like a whole new initiation as a mother. I carried Zion everywhere in a sling. I was adjusting to my new body, the pain of afterbirth, bleeding, breastfeeding, and all the emotions that arose. It’s such a tender time that needs to be honored. I feel lucky to have had support around me.
A mother needs to be nurtured and allowed to drop deeply into her fourth trimester. This is a crucial time for emotional and mental health. She needs to be held, supported, and cared for to establish a strong bond with her baby (lots of skin-to-skin contact, eye-gazing, and breastfeeding).
I reflect back now and realize I bled for about 4-6 weeks afterward, which is pretty standard for women after giving birth.
I healed quickly, with no tears or complications. It all went so perfectly.
My doula introduced me to yoni steaming as a way to help heal postpartum. I now swear by steaming; it has become a significant part of my life and self-care ritual.
We kept the placenta attached to him for about eight days before we cut the cord ourselves. It dried up and became like a piece of wire, making it difficult to carry him around. At that point, it felt like a relief to cut it off, allowing me to hold him comfortably. We kept it in the freezer for a few months before having a proper burial ceremony.
For the first few months after his birth, I practiced a technique called Elimination Communication.
I discovered this method when my daughter was 7 months old, and it worked well. This means they don’t wear diapers at all. It’s about tuning into your baby’s natural cues that indicate when they need to go to the bathroom. When you pick up on the cue, the idea is to hold your baby over a potty or toilet, and they will go. It’s a beautiful journey but can also be challenging. It requires commitment, patience, and faith at the start.
We used small disposable blanket pads for him to sleep on at night so he didn’t wet the bed. We were quite successful with this and got really good at reading his cues. We also introduced cloth diapers for nighttime.
Zion is now 6 years old, and as I reflect on our birth story, I feel a passion ignited for the sacred act of birth. I am grateful to have had such an empowering experience, knowing it can be the complete opposite for some women.
I trust this story will reach those who need it and inspire in some way.
Thank you so much for reading!
Taleta
xx
